Bad Track Record

Beige Rock

Beige Rock is a term I’ve been using for several years that I want to explain a little.

It’s derived from the term “beige food” which my Dad started using years ago in reference to the food served at restaurants that appeal to old folks, particularly (the now defunct chain) Bill Knapps. At Bill Knapps, the food was edible, but designed for the dulled-by-age sensibilities of old people — nothing too bright, too dark, too hot, too cold, or too spicy — in  a word, BEIGE. It’s not necessarily bad food, just bland and uninteresting.

Okay, so that’s beige food. Beige rock refers to the kind of music exemplified by the “rock” bands that get played on top 40 radio stations, most prominently NICKELBACK (but they are far from the only practitioners of beige rock -I’m looking at you, Creed, Default, Puddle Of Mudd, Three Doors Down, Matchbox 20, Fuel, and Slayer).

Their music isn’t bad from a technical standpoint — they’re all competent musicians, the audio itself is produced to professional standards, and there are even some moments where they do, in fact, rock a little bit. But like beige food, beige rock rarely strays too far from dead-nuts center. The heavy songs aren’t that heavy, the fast songs are just a few bpms too slow to be fast, and the structures are satisfying in a safe and predictable way. Beige rock, while using the term rock, often borrows from other (bland in their own right) genres like pop and country, further diluting their already watered down concept of rock.

But as much as I loathe beige rock, it’s a necessary part of the equation. These are the gateway bands for kids. They can listen to Nickelback and gain an understanding of the basics of rock music. However, the problem is that some people never step through the gateway. They stay on Nickelback, never letting that lead them down the path to better music (Led Zeppelin to Black Sabbath to Metallica to Pantera to any of the hundreds of metal sub-genres, just to explain one potential path).

And if you like beige rock bands, hey, don’t sweat it! Like whatever you like, but if you ever have a moment where you feel like there might be some richer, more satisfying musical experience waiting for you out there, know that you’re right, there totally fucking is.

I don’t know about always, but its definitely sunny in Philadelphia this morning!

If You Weren't Already Aware...

I’m coming to visit all my L.A. friends this Thursday! I’ll be in town from Thursday afternoon until early morning on the next Wednesday. I’ve made no specific plans, and I know everyone’s got their own stuff going on, so I’m up for whatever kind of hanging out and having fun presents itself. However, here is the brief list of things I’d like to do while I’m in town.

—Eat Mexican food (at least once a day)

—Eat sushi

—Purchase and consume some sodas from Galco’s

—Group viewing of Mad Men season finale on Sunday (are you guys still watching?)

—Distribute and accept absurd numbers of high fives.

—Red Lion Trivia

—See Del’s nekkid behind (it’s inevitable, so I might as well list it, right?)

—See the ocean

But really if all I get to do is eat tacos and hang out with everyone, it’ll be a successful trip.

(And BONUS! I got my biennial 48 hour sickness out of the way this weekend, so I don’t have to worry about catching anything on the flights)

I AM THE DEVIL'S NIGHT PRANKSTER

Yes, it’s true. I’m already in LA and I pranked all of you jerks last night. You can call the authorities if you want, but I promise I’ll turn myself outside Terminal 1 at LAX this Thursday.

I would have gotten away with it too…if I hadn’t just confessed on Tumblr.

Or maybe They put me up to this. Maybe I’m just a patsy.

Strike while the kettle is hot!

ridiculousroo:

Whenever there are travel sales, the window of opportunity to book a trip at that cost is limited. Thank God we jumped on it because out of curiousity I went to United today to see what the cost of our flight is today and just the flight would have cost what we ended up paying for our whole trip. So essentially it’s like we are getting to stay in a sweet hotel suite (haha I laughed after I typed that) with a balcony overlooking Waikiki for free.

I’ve heard this isn’t always true. From what I understand, when you’re shopping for airfares, a lot of the websites show you one price on your initial visit, and then (through the magic of Internet cookies) on your second visit they show you a completely different price. Try clearing out your cookies to see if the price goes back to where it was. I don’t know if it’s a way to diminish buyers remorse (as in your case) or a way to make people more prone to just jumping on the first decent price they see, or to buy the “new” increased price under the pretense that it’ll go up even more if they wait, but either way it’s pretty damned shady.

Do you think there are Skateboarding classes for adults?

I don’t ever think about regrets (mostly because I don’t think I have many), but I definitely regret not learning how to skateboard when I was a kid (I’ll blame lack of skateboard culture in my peer group and geographical region, rather than my own fairly pronounced lack of athletic ability).

I don’t need to be able to a backside nose grind or anything, but being good enough to use a skateboard to get from point A to B would be pretty awesome.

"will you come talk to the students about your experiences working in LA?"

hizzobizzo:

I am speaking to a video production class tomorrow morning.  What should I talk about?

Here’s what I would say (off the top of my head):

—That although your formal education can instill a lot of great concepts regarding professional behavior, you likely work with very few true professionals, even in at a “professional” level.

—That to make it anywhere in this industry, you MUST take matters into your own hands. No one is looking to work with or hire you until you MAKE YOURSELF into someone they’d be a fool not to work with or hire. College can offer you some opportunities to make yourself into that person, but it’s your job to take advantage of those opportunities. But even that’s not enough. Don’t wait for someone to teach you Final Cut Pro, don’t wait to get your hands on an HD camera, don’t wait for someone to assign you a project. If you wait, YOU ARE WASTING TIME.

—Someone will ASK YOU if they REALLY want to read your script/watch your demo reel.

—If you are moving out of state to find work, bring your significant other with you or end the relationship before you go.

—The entertainment industry is the biggest pond you’ve ever been in. You are a smaller fish than you’ve ever realized, and you’ll find that there are more little fish in the pond than you could possibly imagine. Some big fish are awesome - they share food and show you how to swim better. Some big fish are assholes. Some little fish are good at making themselves look like big fish. The sooner you realize you are not a big fish, the sooner you can start becoming one of the awesome ones. There’s enough food for most fish to survive, but if you want to get bigger, you’ve got to be a strong swimmer.

—All of these statements can and have been proven wrong.

If I Had A Bucket List...

…I’m pretty sure I knocked a couple things off of it today.

1. Waking up and starting a day at 2:30am.

2. Walking in the middle of a major expressway without fear for my life.

Thanks, Show Biz!